Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
