i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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