I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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