That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
