I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
