Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
