i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
