So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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