69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
