Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
