i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
