do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
