my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
