ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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