OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
