Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Porn is love you can see.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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