it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
