i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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