It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
