Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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