you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
