I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
