Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
