gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
