He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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