would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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