well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
this is an emotional support booty call
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
