you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
