Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
