i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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