it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
