Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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