I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
