my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
