Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
