I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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