Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
