first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize