Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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