I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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