Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
