Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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