do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
