Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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