barbara walters just said penis...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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