today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
