If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
