yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
