i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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