just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
