Actions speak louder than pants.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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